I'm not ready . . . and I don't want to talk about it

But I do need to. So I'm writing it all out. But I'm not ready in real life to talk about it, cause I have to stay strong for DH. How is it in my family that as one enters, one leaves?

Four years ago this summer, shortly after I got married, both of my grandmothers became seriously ill. One passed away on the 28th of November, one on the 1st of December, 2002. They had been great friends, and they left the world together. Shortly after, my cousin and I both found out we were pregnant. My paternal grandmother had been like a grandmother to her to.

Now, I find myself in the same situation. DH's grandmother, who filled a void in my heart that my grandmothers had left, has become seriously ill. They're not sure she'll make it. Her liver is failing, and she's in the hospital. We've been visiting her this weekend, and she's weaker than I've ever seen her. I'm having a real hard time with this. She's taken me into her heart like I'd always been her granddaughter. I love her like I always have been. She cried the other day when she held my new daughter, and it almost broke my heart that my DD may never get to know her great-grandma.

I can't do this . . .