Dear DH.,

While you think you are helping me by doing laundry while I am out, it is actually absolutely no help at all when you wash and dry the white clothes WITHOUT LOOKING FOR STAINS FIRST. And may I point out the article in question is YOUR BEST WHITE T-SHIRT? Ooops, honey, I did laundry, but I missed the SPAGHETTI STAIN on my shirt, can you fix it? Far out. It is the size of our house for Pete's sake. And bright red, what's to miss about that when you're putting it in the wash? Or the fact that you're the one who spilled the crap on it in the first place?

Oh, and

DEAR TIDE,

While you should be paying me for advertisement because I keep telling people the TIDE TO GO PEN rocks, you certainly need to put more of that magic liquid in there. I've only had mine a month, and granted, it's saved a crapload of articles of clothing, but it's already run out this evening, while trying to get a spaghetti stain out of a white t-shirt! Yes, it's been used on baby clothing, coffee stains, silk blouses of my mom's friend, to get olive oil out of my dad's shirt, more recently to take red wine out of a friend's dress shirt at a wedding, dirt out of the bride's dress, gravy out of my own pants, but still, a MONTH? That's not long enough!